Aw. Y’all are cute. I love that you guys dressed up for your date!
Farquaad: What do you mean, “dress up”? I wear these clothes to run on the treadmill!
Adrian: I wear these clothes almost everyday!
…you’re ruining the moment.
Adrian: Well, I do change out of my suit to go into the hot tub. Everyone knows you’re supposed to wear a black t-shirt when you get in the tub.
Farquaad: Or a formal dress!
Adrian: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that part!
I’ll repeat: so. Many. Clothes. To. Wash. This trait ought to just be called the “Generates way too much laundry” trait.
Farquaad: Hey! Pay attention to us! We’re being cute.
Oh, right. So cute, in fact, that I decided to try for an artsily vertical photo. I realized, however, that it didn’t look quite right when placed in the post, but y’all are going to be subject to it, anyway, because I TOOK AND EDITED THAT SCREENSHOT AND IT WILL BE SEEN.
Farquaad and Adrian: glub.
I sent Farquaad over to the park for the Adrian and Farquaad Date, part two.
Farquaad: I spot firecrackers.
Please don’t destroy everything.
Farquaad: Don’t worry! I’ll only be destroying one thing today, and his name is Future Mr. Farquaad
Uh, pretty sure “Future Mr. Farquaad” is included in “everything.”
Farquaad: Imma OBLITERATE you, fool!
Poor Adrian. Perhaps you ought to try a different venue (preferably one that doesn’t involve you getting pounded by heavy water balloons).
Five seconds later:
What are you doing?
Sorry, I don’t speak hot dog.
Adrian: I’m doing what you suggested! I found a different way to win!
You’re shoveling dozens of hot dogs into your poor, abused stomach. How is this any better than being pummeled on the outside with water balloons?
Adrian: My insides were feeling neglected!
Your offspring are doomed.
Benedict Crumplebottom: AHA! I, a twelve year old child, thoroughly CRUSHED this poor, pathetic man. Look, he still has nine hot dogs left. I’m half his size!
Adrian: 😦 I feel ill.
Poor Adrian. I feel like I’ve been saying that so often that we ought to create a hashtag.
Farquaad: Where’s Future Mr. Farquaad running off to?
Adrian: MY INSIDES ARE REVOLTING.
He’s going to vomit.
Farquaad: Lemme stick out my tongue and talk about Egypt for you. That’ll cheer you up
Adrian: Are we going to Egypt?
Nope. At least not yet, anyway. As of now, we still only possess a toilet and various cat toys, so there will be no jetting off.
Oh, wow! A totally (un)necessary close up of your hands! If you guys haven’t noticed, yet, I really like tilted shots and zoomed in shots. Expect more to come.
Farquaad: Wanna make it official?
Ah, rollerskating. There’s no way this can go wrong!
Benedict Crumplebottom: Ha. Five simoleons says they fall down in the first five minutes.
Sim time or real time?
Benedict: hm…sim time.
Adrian and Farquaad: *fall*
YES YOU GUYS ARE GREAT! HA. SIX SECONDS. TAKE THAT, BENEWHATSIT CRUMPLEBOO
Benedict Crumplebottom: Rude.
Benedict Crumplebottom: Fools. Let me show you poor, helpless adults how it’s done.
What are you guys doing?? Did you not just consume insane quantities of hot dogs a few (sim) hours ago? Do you not feel ill?
Adrian: I’M READY TO WIN.
Farquaad: Is his pile smaller than mine?
Adrian: I am not throwing away my shot!
Is this going where I think it’s going —
Adrian: Imma GET A SCHOLARSHIP TO KING’S COLLEGE
Adrian: oh my Plumbob. Did I – did I actually win something?
Farquaad: I totally let him win.
Is there a real winner in this contest?
Congratulations, Adrian, you can officially down more carcinogenic hot dogs than your girlfriend.
Adrian: EEEEEEEE I’m so excited 🙂
Aw. I think this is a good time to transition away from the future (heh – gets me everytime) couple and move on to the soap opera that is the Moonlight Falls fire station:
Char: But – but you’re a fire fighter, too! How can you say you’re not into firefighters? That line works everytime!
Daenerys-Not-Fireborn: Honestly, the pants creep me out.
Char: But you wear them too! 😦
Angelica: Yeah, no thanks.
Char: I’m going to go slide down that pole. Then I’m going to take out my wrath on my next job.
Oh, wait. You two don’t actually fight fires. You just create drama in the fire station. People of Moonlight Falls, you are officially safe(ish).
Destroyer-of-Hearts: Did we ask for your input? I’ll have you know I’m the best firefighter in this whole forsaken town!
But – but – you just rejected Charcoal for being a firefighter.
So…oh, never mind.
Hoo boy. This seems like a good place to end this chapter — nothing like imminent destruction to send people off!
Thanks all for reading! 🙂