1.05 – Squishy

Screenshot-124As pictured above, Farquaad had some intense eye contact with Cersei Lannister*

*totally not her actual name.

The Nameless One: She’s going to maintain the fire alarm, right? Because I don’t think anyone’s even touched it…ever.

That would explain the lack of fires.

Screenshot-131

While I sent Farquaad to maintain the alarm, Cindy Who had an angst fest with Charcoal.

Char: Imagine my hands are fishes.

Cinderella McBlondeFace: What?? Why would I do that? Now, get out of my way! I have some Darkspawn to eradicate.

Char: glub glub glub glub glub

This continued for a while. Screenshot-135

Long enough, even, for Farquaad to get hungry again. I was impressed to see that she chose a neon green, jelly-like salad.

Farquaad: When am I going to get the massive legacy house? All the other legacy people have nice houses and attractive people falling all over them!

Sorry, Farquaad. Enjoy your gelatin salad.
Screenshot-11

Farquaad also maintained the fire truck. I’m not entirely sure what smacking a wrench against a, from what I can tell, completely flat surface accomplishes, but it seemed to work. Screenshot-125

Her earlier work with the fire alarm paid off, as we soon received an alert for a small fire.

Farquaad: ehehehehe I could completely crush a small building with this

Yes, let’s try to avoid that, shall we?

Farquaad: I’ll call it DESTRUCTION, DESTINED DESTROYER: DESTROY EDITION

…oh boy. Why do I feel like you’re angling towards this fate:

Farquaad: ehehehehhe
Screenshot-126

Farquaad: I can’t believe they’re letting me take this huge firetruck out all by myself! It’s only my second day on the job, too!

Do you even have a driver’s license?

Farquaad: a what?

See, this is probably why no one else wanted to get in the truck with you. Screenshot-127

Farquaad: Aw, it’s so cute! It’s a widdle baby flame. I’m going to call it squishy.

You do that.

Farquaad: Now, time to ruthlessly extinguish Squishy’s life! MWAHAHA

Wait! I didn’t make you evil!

Farquaad: oh. *cue less-maniacal laughter* mwahahah?

…I guess that’ll do.
Screenshot-128

Farquaad: Why are you forcing me to do this?? This smoke is going to ruin my dress! 😡

It’s your job, Farquaad.

Farquaad: You mean the job you forced me into?

Oh. Uh, but you’re so good at it!

Farquaad: I’m not going to fall for that — what do you think I am, two?

Four, actually. I like the alliteration of “Farquaad, Aged Four.”

Farquad: …okay then.

Screenshot-129

Farquaad: I see the floating simoleons, but all I can think about is how tired I am. You’re going to buy a bed with that money, right? So I don’t have to sleep in the room with Rapunzel and Char any longer? Those two are gross.

Uh..sorry, Farquaad. I’ve already spent the money.

Farquaad: What?? The money hasn’t even completely faded from view yet! Besides, it’s not the money — it’s my money! I had to sacrifice Squishy for those 276 simoleons!

Oops. Well, if it makes you feel any better, Euler finally has some furniture!

Screenshot-133

^look! I’m not completely terrible!

Euler: I have no food, but I guess I can just scratch this pole. Obviously, buying this scratcher was way more important than buying FOOD.

Hey. I didn’t ask for this sass.

Euler: I’m a cat. I was born sassy.

Fine, fine. Well, let’s abandon Farquaad, then, and focus the latter part of this chapter on you!

Screenshot-130

Euler’s social levels were getting dangerously low, so I sent him to the fire station. He (and his fleas) made himself (themselves) comfortable on the couch.

Euler: My fleas will provide an extra level of difficulty when they play video games.

Indeed.

Screenshot-147

As Euler scratched away, his cat senses told him that a certain firefighter was approaching (and not, cough cough, out fighting fires because OBVIOUSLY that would be WAY TOO MUCH to ask of a firefighter).

Char: Oi. I’ll have you know that I have to work very hard to contain the fire that is my own hotness.

…no words.

Screenshot-149

Aside from his brazenness, Char did pet Euler, which is more than Farquaad has ever done. In fact, I don’t think Farquaad’s ever even touched Euler.

Euler: Another friend! Yay! You can share my fleas!

Char: Aw, you’re kind of cute…even if it does look like moss is growing on your neck.

Euler: That’s because the Writer’s idea of decorating cats is to throw random splotches of color around!

Char: Why are the colors only around your head?

Euler: The Writer got lazy.

Sorry, all. What can you do.

Screenshot-153

Euler autonomously jumped onto the bed next to Charcoal’s and slept there. It was very cute and very sad.

Euler: Can Charcoal be my new human? I don’t like the old one 😦

/cue heart breaking

Next time: where in the world is Waldo Farquaad?

Thanks all for reading, and see ya next week (if I haven’t scared all of you off, yet)!

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2 comments

  1. socallucyfan · August 27, 2016

    Euler is so cute.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thewindsorlegacy · September 17, 2016

      aw, thanks! I love creating squishy, absurdly fluffy cats in sims far too much haha

      Like

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