1.03 – Physical Education

Welcome back!

Screenshot-56

As you can see, Farquaad’s the same (in other words, she doesn’t seem too affected by the earlier rejection).

Farquaad: I’m doing my best impression of Euler.

You mean the cat you’ve been neglecting for the past day?

Farquaad: meow.

Anyway, I sent Farquaad off to the gym to train for her occupation, which I’m realizing I haven’t revealed yet. Firefighter. It’s firefighter. AKA the occupation which conveniently provides a fire station full of furniture!!

Screenshot-104

Speaking of which…above is proof that Euler is 1) still alive 2) making good use of our sole piece of furniture 3) still woefully neglected.

Euler: I’m going to track toilet water all over the bare floors! Screenshot-57

Side note: I’m very much enjoying Moonlight Falls’ population of ghosts. This ghost did far more reps than Farquaad, which is quite impressive considering she isn’t corporeal.

There were many potential victims spouses in the gym! Who knew sweating was such a popular activity.

I sent Farquaad over straight away to scope out the goods potential friends.Screenshot-59

Farquaad: Hello! I interrupted your intense workout because I want to be your friend!

Jane: Great! I’m so glad you did that! I was only two minutes from finally completing my cardio workout, anyway.Screenshot-61

Farquaad: You like fish? I only eat the most tender of fish. They have to be wild — no farm raised for me.

Jane: I’m vegetarian.

Farquaad: Cool, I’m a snob!

This is a wonderful conversation, guys. Keep up the good work.Screenshot-62

And, as they stare stonily at each other, the person person plus is activated.

Farquaad: We’re showing off our poker faces. It’s the surest way to form a lasting friendship.

Can’t say I’ve heard that before.

As Farquaad and Jane went off to their respective machines, this woman began loudly complaining.Screenshot-64

Woman-whose-name-I-can’t-recall: I HAVE A WEIRD PRESSURE ON MY LOWER ABDOMEN. WEIRD.

Go to the bathroom..

W.W.N.I.C.R.: WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN IN ME

You’re literally shouting the solution to your problem in a large red speechbubble. Go find a toilet.Screenshot-65

She, of course, did not do that. In fact, her complaint triggered a whole set of sad occurrences.

Seriously. This whole picture is so pathetic. Let’s break it down, shall we?

We have, of course, the same woman with the bladder issues…standing motionless and doing absolutely nothing to alleviate her duress. Screenshot-66

Then we have this woman complaining at nothing.

Beatrice: I HAVE WINGS. YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE. I’M JUST WINGING IT TBH.

Okay, then. Glad to see you’re dressed appropriately for the gym.

Beatrice: Isn’t Farquaad wearing her formal attire?

Good point.

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Then we have this tourist, who managed to extract his face from the door. I can’t remember his name. You will find that this happens a lot.

Tourist #1: Wow, golly gee, the doors in Moonlight Falls sure are nice! I’m glad I traveled thousands of miles to try them out!!Screenshot-68

And, last but not least, this morose looking girl with no guardian in sight.

Sad child #1: Why am I here. It’s 12 PM on a Tuesday. What is life.

What is life, indeed.

Well, at least my torch holder is doing semi-okay. Sure, she’s working out in her fanciest gown and, sure, her floating plumbob is yellow and, sure, she’s managed to alienate herself from several people already and, sure —

Okay, maybe I’ll stop that train of thought there. Screenshot-69

I stopped Farquaad after a few reps because I found something of *ahem* particular importance. Screenshot-71

Farquaad: You’ve got to be kidding me. Isn’t this the dude whose face was stuck in the door?

His face isn’t stuck in the door anymore! And look at his —

Farquaad: Hiss.

Oh, just go over and say hi.

Screenshot-75

Farquaad: Hello, weird stranger. I must warn you not to fall in love with me. My body is a temple and you will not be visiting it.

Poor victim: uh..ok. This must be a Moonlight Falls custom. *personperson plus*

While Farquaad and the tourist were chatting, a random woman came up and hovered uncomfortably close for a few minutes. I (surprise) don’t remember what her name is, so let’s just call her Broomhilda.Screenshot-77

Broomhilda: I and my perfect face take offense at this hideous name.

Sh, Broomhilda. No one asked you.

While I was distracted with Broomhilda, Farquaad was getting busy…busy wiping snot, that is. Screenshot-80

Farquaad: AND THEN HE ACCUSED ME OF NOT KNOWING MY BOUNDARIES!!

This is seeming awfully familiar. Are you reusing your lines?

Farquaad: I used one less exclamation point.

I don’t think that makes a difference.

Farquaad: And this time I used all caps.

You mean you shouted?

Poor tourist: uh..I just met you..? This is very uncomfortable…? What is Moonlight Falls and how do I get out of this place..?Screenshot-81

Farquaad: Shh, tourist man. Just accept the cold grip of my unending sorrow.

Tourist-who-is-seriously-regretting-this-visit: *gulps*

Wonderful, Farquaad. You never cease to amaze me.

The tourist broke free of Farquaad’s deathgrip embrace and pointed vigorously at his mouth.

Sigh.

Screenshot-86

Honestly, what’s good with this town. You’d think the entire population of Moonlight Falls was participating in an ISBI. Y’all need to take care of yourselves and/or love yourselves.

Survivor-of-Farquaad’s-deathgrip: Don’t judge me! This is how we get food where I’m from. An alien will drop sustenance into your waiting mouth if you wait long enough!

…uh.Screenshot-87

Farquaad: Yeah, seriously. These people need to get their lives together. I mean, have you ever seen such a disgraceful sight? It’s like they don’t even know what a bed is. Why can’t they take care of their own basic nee-Screenshot-88

Farquaad: *yawns*

Well, I’d send you home but unless you can somehow sleep on a toilet, I don’t think it’ll do any good. To the fire station!

Farquaad: Shouldn’t I check on Euler at some point?

Yeah, definitely. But I’m also terrified you’re going to pass out, so…

To the fire station!

Poor Euler

AN: Next time: fire station shenanigans and Euler breaks free!

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4 comments

  1. meg · August 12, 2016

    Oh goodness XD That was one crazy trip to the gym! It’s like everyone in the town is preparing to be apart of the ISBI, not taking care of their needs and whatnot. And poor, poor Euler. I worry for Farquuad’s future children.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thewindsorlegacy · August 12, 2016

      haha yeah, it seems like they can sense there’s an ISBI happening (perhaps it’s contagious..?)
      also euler definitely deserves better. #saveeuler2k16?

      Like

  2. socallucyfan · August 18, 2016

    What an eventful trip to the gym. I never realized Moonlight Falls has such colorful characters. Maybe Farquaad brings it out in them!

    Liked by 1 person

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